Southwold. Picturesque village of two dozen seafood restaurants, the Adnams brewery and beach huts that sell for thirty thousand pounds.

Nothing expresses the Englishman’s love for the sea more than how much we’re willing to pay for a two square meter shed in which to eat our fish and chips.

It’s the same at all points of the British coast. A hut in Dorset sold for £250k. That’s up the luxury end, though, with electricity and running water. £30k just get’s you four walls and space for a deckchair or two.

An hour or two with a paper breathing in the fresh sea air and the price might not sound too crazy. Convinced? Sign up to www.beach-huts.com and be prepared for a five year wait.

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After 3 weeks of play fighting, midnight racing and all-round sprattling… it’s time to say goodbye to Monster Truck and Pip. Now Larry can stop puffing herself out to 120% actual size and Lady might come out from under the bed… and we can get a good night’s sleep. That’s not to say they won’t be missed – for sure it has been a pleasure to have 4 colour co-ordinated kitties around the house.

We tried to get them together for a photo shoot on the white & black chairs but it was near impossible to orchestrate. Outtakes when flickr account #2 gets upgraded.

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Found it! The elusive Haibao robot, hanging around in the built case pavilions on the cool side of the river. Added to the collection of lesser spotter Haibao (What is the plural? Haibaii? Thanks Shanghaiist for the answer) around the city.

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We had heard it existed but I’m not sure who from. Thames Town is a place which rings a bell with most Shanghai people… yet they’re not sure why.

To set the record straight, Thames town is a wholly built, fully functioning copy of a small English town. Complete with everything you would expect from an English town… except the people.

There’s a high street of shops, with names like “mike’s records’ and ‘the fish bar’. All of them are empty, shells. It’s eerie to walk around. There are the cobbles, the wooden beams, the double yellow lines, the telephone boxes and street after street of nothing. It looks deserted. In fact it was never used in the first place, barely anyone came.

Only a couple places, including Ruth’s bar, have actually stuck it out. Probably serving 10 covers a day they’ve got a menu written only in Chinese and don’t serve English food. The German bar doesn’t open until 4pm.

The problem? It’s in the middle of nowhere for one thing (sorry to those who live in Songjiang). It’s a monumental £500m white Chinese elephant and never took off. Even their website hasn’t been updated since the the month it opened in 2006. Supposedly all the properties were snapped up as investments, now they’re trying to sell them. Posters with telephone numbers are stuck in apartment windows around town, the ones within reach are being covered by Haibao stickers to keep up appearances.

It’s like walking around a huge film set where a handful of people accidentally live. Across from the church is what looks like an arcade of shops but walk through a open fire escape and it’s like the Truman Show.

Around a corner is a little make up studio. Thames town’s only real business. Couples who’ve come to have their wedding photos in front of a pew-less church a bronze statue of James Bond.

A few more photos here.

Not happy with yesterdays 80km jaunt, today we headed west instead of east. We took a 110k loop which circled around Sheshan, stopped off in Zhujiajiaozhen, made it to the lake, made our jaws drop on the floor and then slogged 40k home in a blustery head wind. Not for the faint hearted. Map here.

We’ve been to Sheshan before so didn’t pay the red note or two to climb up to the observatory and basilica. Instead kept on trucking, stopping every so often to down 4 pints of water trying to compensate for the 38c heat bearing down on our backs. Thank god for finding the rapha sleeves – a true godsend.

From Sheshan we headed north-west towards the lakes with a stop off for lunch. The small watertown of Zhujiajiaozhen seemingly has two specialities; (1) heavy glutinous rice balls stuffed with sesame or red bean or pork (2) something fantastic; lumps of pork wrapped in banana leaves and boiled until they’re like mouthfuls of soft pork butter. Absolutely delicious.

We’ve heard of this impossible aircraft carrier on a tiny patch of water next to Dianshan Lake, and honestly, after checking google maps last night – it was the main reason we came out. Call me doubting Thomas but until I saw it with my own eyes I couldn’t beleive it was true.

They’ve only gone and built a full scale replica of the Soviet Varyag… out of concrete. The original was supposedly bought in order to make a new Macau casino but it has since been undergoing an engine and capabilities refit. One can only guess as to why they’d build something like this but here it is in the middle of Oriental Land, a family park where for 50RMB you can walk around the gardens, ride the go-karts and puke on the pirate ship… all hardy Chinese past-times… or for 120RMB you can climb aboard an entirely fake aircraft carrier complete with real fighter jets and choppers.

Amazing.

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We covered 80k today in a ride eastwards out of Shanghai to the sea.

From Century Park there’s a canal that heads east in a straight light, along the nort side runs a path which is almost continuous for the 40k stretch. Whenever you get to a dead end – head left (northwards) to a a parallel road. It’s pretty self-evident if you use your noggin. Map here.

Leaving the city behind and entering the countryside is a good feeling, even if the ‘countryside’ is basically the French Concession with a few chickens running around. Whilst it certainly moves a few notches towards rural, the city still manages to keep up the pace with some enormous housing projects underway.

We must have passed 300 shops that sell windows frames, 4 million plastic buckets, the Sydney Opera House, Florence Piazza della Signoria and one camoflage radar ball.

At the coast swells the murky brown depths of the East China Sea at the mouth of the Yangtze. A half dozen brave souls have come to swim – or be bashed against the wave breakers, it’s hard to tell. Every 15 seconds a plane cruises overhead on it’s descent into Pudong International. No arcades, no fish & chips, I’d been duped. Still, nice to breath in the fresh sea air and have a paddle.

Just to the south of where we were looked to be some great roads for riding – tree lined and smooth surfaced. We were short of time and already blanching in the midday sun, so set for home. That can be next time.. or the time after next if our plan for tomorrow comes through.

Round it all off with a quick tour of expat-haven JinQiao to wash off any scent of culture and you’re golden (or extremely red if you forgot sun-lotion).

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We went (along with every other ‘young professional’ in Shanghai) to the latest Pecha Kucha Shanghai Nights at the 800 Show. So many familiar faces; if a bomb had gone off that night, Amokka and Di Shui Dong would be straight out of business.

If you don’t know what Pecha Kucha is then shame on you. Let’s just say its an old method used by angel investors to cut through the long-winded monotony of elevator pitch presentations… that got picked up a few years ago by a couple of architects in Tokyo who claimed it as their own.

I’m no Martin Sorrell (one of the best presentations I have ever seen.. and a Pecha Kucha) but I have been slowly sozzled by powerpoint during my innings at CEIBS. “Lighting the fire” and “cooking the goose” aside; here’s a nice round number of personal notes I’ve gathered on PK presentations:

You’re probably utterly familiar with your topic and able to speak freely (otherwise you probably shouldn’t be doing it). Don’t get too caught up in making a rigid presentation.

Keep a single card with queues to hand for that momentum-killing moment when you realize a sea of faces is staring at you. If you need to, make a list of the first word from each slide. If you’ve practiced a couple times the rest will follow.

Unless you’re a robot or a script writer for the six o’clock news there’s no way you can time your speech to the exact second for each slide. Besides, if the slides are advanced by a human then the chances are they’ll mess up on or two. Your task is to manage the gaps well, turn the awkward pause into a valuable one. Give the audience something to think about for three seconds – priests during sermons are masters at this.

It is better to start talking about the next slide early than still be talking about the last one when it has disappeared. Actually – you should’t be talking ‘about’ the slides at all. They should be communicating for themselves.

Don’t read text off the screen – it’s a waste of time. Pictures should be self explanatory. If you need to tell someone “that’s our building in Prague” then put it on a label.

If you do the same thing for 20 slides it’s going to get boring halfway through. Find a way to break up the flow. If people know the presentation obviously has a beginning, middle and end, they’ll switch off in the middle in anticipation of the end. Mix it up.

Use text and make it attractive. There’s a reason people still read the newspaper… it looks good. A perfect sentence tells a thousand words. Be careful though, the audience will always give precedence to what’s on the screen.

And whatever you do – be original. Be more original. There are one million ways to put 20 slides on a screen that last 20 seconds each.

Did I forget anything?

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A couple weeks later and we’re all settled. It’s a beautiful lowrise apartment block in my favourite part of the French Concession at Huaihai and Wanping.

Sure you’ll have to see it for yourself but a few highlights; Svenskt Tenn, ‘Eames’, Degournay, the world’s smallest dishwasher, a room full of Bikes and a Japanese robotic toilet.

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We took a dash around Shanghai on a fine Saturday afternoon with thanks to Nate over at H.A.L. (I will write something for them one day) for organizing.

Was good to see Chris Trees on his Holdsworth tandem rolling circles around us… and the sprint out to Fudan as the sun went down even put hairs on my Chest.

Was also good to be out on Ocean San after the last few weeks of commuting just 3k every day on the general. Nice to get over 20k/hour and not worry about becoming water-based in the heat.

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So we’ve agreed to look after a couple of kitties for a few weeks until their new owners are able to take them. They’re 7 weeks old – slightly ferrel and a little scrawny.

To begin with there was plenty of hissing and Larry tracked their every move from a distance. Lady on the other hand was petrified of them and sulked in the bedroom. A few days later and they’ve eated 10 pouches of whiskers, bonded with Larry and are generally steering clear of Lady who is still under the bed… sneaking out to the toilet when the coast is clear.

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